Well, to say the past month has been filled with life changes would be an understatement.
So the month of April started off with my anticipation of actually getting into the OR, at long last. The first couple of weeks were great. I scrubbed in on several GYN cases, a couple of breast reconstructions, a mastectomy. I even saw a penile debridement ( that was interesting to say the least). The smells didn’t bother me, the sights didn’t either. The doctors were great, even taking time to teach me. The problem came after only 4 days in; I began to really feel the physical strain of it all. Standing in one confined spot for hours was so hard on my knees. They swelled to the point I had to stay off my legs to be able to go back in the next Monday.
The 3rd week I had what the clinic Dr thought was stomach flu combined with a nasty sinus infection. I literally got nauseous in the OR. So by this time I am beginning to think maybe this was not my best idea. This entire year I have gone to class faithfully, great grades (President’s list) but when the rubber hit the road so to speak my body wasn’t having it. So this brings me up to the 5th Week. It’s Sunday. I ask “If I’m not meant for this please give me a sign or strength to endure it” I got a sign alright- heart palpatations with PVC’s, a BP of 158/98 and a trip to the ER where the Dr. tells me I need a heart cath, problem is : no insurance. So the answer was:rest. I withdrew from classes the next day. I will be honest, I am incredibly hurt to not graduate. But I have to be sensible. My momma depends on me too, so I have to account for her well-being in my decision. I had to rest.
Rest has made a world of difference. To try and process all this, I began to pull all my art materials back out. I am painting again and feeling better.
So for me I have to figure out making a living. Central sterile is not as stressful or physically demanding so that is an option. Right now though I’m listening to my creative voice and resting for a few weeks.