I spent a little time this morning just quietly sitting on my back porch. A warm cup of coffee and s a cool early autumn breeze in October. Several shades of yellowing leaves greet me with their grand display of nature’s beauty. I suppose another way to phrase it is the rhythm of nature. Everything evolves along its chosen path; the leaves are no different. Some are beginning to experience one last pirouette toward the ground. They have danced their last dance. It comes to us all, that last dance in life. I am witnessing that right now with my Mother. She has advancing Alzheimer’s. I have never seen a battle in life she could not win, this one may be the exception. I can’t begin to express the gut-wrenching angst and toll it takes on all involved. This disease is a horrid foe. It robs my loved one of her most precious possessions, her memories. I see her struggle to remember names of people who have crossed her path in life. Old friends from school. A boyfriend before my Dad, I never knew existed. She has told me the stories in the past so many times I know them by heart. Now, she asks me to tell her what she can’t remember. She knows she is forgetting something but she can’t quite formulate what it is she is forgetting. I know when it is happening. I see her eyes darting from side to side with nervous frustration. The body forgets as well. I never knew till now that the body literally forgets how to swallow. Her brain no longer processes taste. She craves sugar. That is because sweet is the last taste the body remembers. Her legs will forget how to walk and she will no longer know how to brush her hair. Yet, she struggles to remember. It is at these moments I touch her hand and tell her I love her. A gently touch to let her know she is not alone. She doesn’t understand what is happening to her but she knows something is different. I try to take a few moments like I did this morning to breath before my day begins. This is one of most emotional, physically and mentally exhausting things I have ever done. This job, my job, does not pay in dollars and cents. It pays in a currency one cannot spend on life’s luxuries. It pays in the moral, soul confirming knowledge that I have done the right thing in life. My time was not wasted. I made a difference to one very beautiful soul, my Mother. We can all do our part in the battle against this disease. You can donate your time to walk in the Alzheimer’s walks all across our nation. Raise money, raise awareness. If you can’t do that, retweet the tweets that bring awareness. Knowledge is power. Another way one can help is to just be kind to others as you go about your day. Spread love, light and peace as you travel your own path. It’s not a long journey people. Before you know it your experiencing your own last pirouette. Make it count!
Until next time, peace and love.
Tagged: #Alzheimers, #Autumn, #Momma, Change, writing
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