I feel the pull to write this morning. I am on several social networking platforms. I began those accounts years ago just after the death of my father. In the beginning it was an effort to promote my artwork. Fast forward eleven years, some of those accounts are the same accounts, others I have added in the past couple of years. Now the internet and the world are filled with all kinds of people. Some wish you nothing but happiness and love, some not-so-much of either. There are only a few people who know how Ms. Arleen ticks. Meaning only a few people in the world get who I am and why I do what I do. For most of them it took a considerable amount of time for me to trust them enough to open up, some people I have had an instant connection. I suppose that is the key component for me, do my Spidey senses go off when I meet you? Was it a good vibe or a less than ideal vibe? There is also a reason for that; I have felt more than my share of heartache. I just don’t trust easily. Before this strays down a dark rabbit hole, I will come back to the original intent of this post. When I post online a video about my life events, I am not asking for sympathy or pity. I apologize to anyone that thinks I am. I am simply a middle-age Southern woman attempting to care for her Mother in the last years of her life. I am doing what must be done, not for glory or honor but because it is the fricking right thing to do.
I recently posted a video on my Instagram that invoked a response I did not see coming. Someone suggested I should have a Go Fund me account. Lord have mercy! Please listen when I say, that is not Arleen. NO! NO! NO! I cannot express it enough, do not open any such account! I humbly thank you for your concern, but we are okay. There are multitudes of people who need Go Fund me accounts. Please give to them. Give to the mother’s trying to feed and raise little children. Give to the humane societies trying to care for animals in need. Give to little children who need treatment. Give to their parents to have the monetary resources to stay with their children for treatment so their child is not alone. My Mother and I are making ends meet nicely with a little extra for a rainy day. We are not the Rockefeller’s, but we are blessed. I am grateful for what we have. I wake up thankful for the roof over my head even if it does leak in spots. That can be remedied, and it will later today.
In the video I was taping the house and some of the work I was doing outside. It has been several months since I have felt like getting outside and working on things. When I share a post, I am talking to my friends, old ones and new ones. It is not a catchy, clever meme when I say, if you are on my page, be it Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram, I care about you as a person. My energy recognizes something in your energy. I will say it again, it takes a lot for me to trust people. Not everybody gets a follow back, not everyone gets a like or retweet. If you do, it is because I dig you as a person and I value your thoughts. I am loyal as a bird-dog. When I share a video, I am sharing a portion of myself with my friends.
Now to address another issue. As the kids say, I identify as a female who is attracted to males. I hope I said that socially correct. I realized a while back, that my parts and their parts just fit together nicely, some better than others. I love all people, all races, genders. I have never bought into the superiority of any race or gender over another. I have found that some men are physically stronger than some women, but then again, some women have more constitutional fortitude than men. It is one of the things we can always bank on like, horseshoes and hand grenades, all people are different. No person is exactly like another. If I extend a hand of friendship, it does not mean I am aiming for a hookup or romantic relationship. Those things take a lot of time. It means I would enjoy spending time talking and laughing with you. I love to laugh. It is so good for the soul. I am not casual when it comes to my heart. I may be incredibly attracted to you; I mean off the charts attracted to you, and I will never tell you. It is a philosophy I live by: What is meant for you will never pass you by! So, I wait and listen with my intuition. I have learned through being alone (for a very long time) what it means to be an independent woman. I enjoy doing things myself. Sometimes I need help but typically I enjoy the feeling of doing it myself. My Mom and Dad were the same. But as far as relationships, I do not open my heart for the sake of being on someone’s arm. I know without a shadow of a doubt that when the man that is meant for me comes a long, I will be with him because I truly care for him. It is the difference between needing someone and wanting someone. In the meantime, I have cats, and a open heart to listen and I did I mention, I love to laugh.